


When You're a Spy

by HOwLinGaTthEmOoN21



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Caring Yukio, Crying, Guilt, Illuminati, M/M, Sad Shima Renzo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 11:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18164726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HOwLinGaTthEmOoN21/pseuds/HOwLinGaTthEmOoN21
Summary: When you're a spy, you should never get close to anyone. People might get hurt if you doThus Shima feels guilty, Yukio is there to remind him what matters most.





	When You're a Spy

**Author's Note:**

> I am fairly new to the fandom, so please cut me some slack  
> Also, I'm sorry if the text spacing is weird, AO3 can be difficult if you write on your phone lol

Renzo Shima's POV

When you're a spy, no one trusts you. No one believes in you, and they all lose faith. Of course, a spy has to be ready for that pain. They shouldn't get too close to anyone. Welp, it seems as if I broke that rule.  
Being a spy, is stressful to say the least. There's always the threat of being caught. And if you're caught betraying the Illuminati, well let's just say you'd never see daylight again.That's why I didn't want to get close to anyone, besides Bon and Konekomaru. But when I came to True Cross Academy, that's exactly what I did.  
The moonlight shined through the window as I layed awake in my bed. One of the first night's I've actually been able to relax, and I can't even get to sleep. Figures, I've been thinking alot lately. Mainly about a certain exorcist, Yukio Okumura. His eyes, they hold the power close to that of Satan's.  
It's quite funny, due to the fact that he and his twin brother are children of Satan. The Illuminati want to use his power. Though, I wonder how that will play out. If Yukio does end up siding with the Illuminati, would that mean he and Rin will be destined to fight? Heh, there's no way he'd fight his brother again.  
I chuckled softly, and sat up in my bed. Miwa was still asleep, Bon as well. Slowly, I got up and exited the room. If I can't get to sleep, why not go for a walk? I walked out of the dorms, and outside.  
The cold and crisp air felt nice on my face, almost refreshing. I put my hands in my pockets, and began to walk around. This time of night, is peaceful. It's so late, that not even demons of any class would be sturring trouble. It's almost as if the world is dead.  
I walked down the path to Sheimi's new garden. She always loves to tend gardens, and I must admit she has quite the knack for it. Sighing, I opened the gate and looked around. Nobody was around, so it was perfect. As soon as I sat down, I heard a gun click behind me.

"What are you doing up so late?" A voice, I immediately recognized as Yukio Okumura.

"I could as you the same question teach." I said turning around, a lazy smile on my face.

"What I am doing is none of your concern," Yukio spoke, still pointing his gun at me. "Now, explain or else I will shoot."

"Is it a crime to be out for a simple walk?" I asked innocently. "That's all I was doing, honest."

I put my hands up to prove I'm innocent, but it seemed as of Yukio didn't like that. He growled and pounced on me, forcing me to the ground. I won't deny it, Yukio was scary already. To have him go demon on you was even scarier.

"Don't fuck with me you ass," He growled, his eyes glowing an electric blue. "Tell me, what plans have the Illuminati got this time?"

"I would tell ya," I said with a smirk. "But then I'd have to kill you. I'm pretty sure Rin would miss his brother dearly if I did anyways."

Yukio growled again and slammed me down, which hurt like hell. Now I'm starting to get mad. I tried to get him off me, which proved futile. I was starting to think Yukio would actually kill me. I gulped, as I looked into his eyes.  
They were the eyes of a demon. But, they also had human emotions. Yukio's eyes glowed with hurt, confusion and anger. Ah yes, here it comes. The guilt I have to face on a daily basis.

"Mr. Okumura, er Y-Yukio..." I started, feeling my teacher's nail like claws dig in to my shoulders. "I promise that I'm not doing anything sketchy right now. Please believe me!"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Yukio pulled me up and slammed me against the brick walls. I groaned in pain, and curled up into a ball. I guess this is what I get for being a spy. Having people I l-CARE ABOUT hate me.  
But it's fine, right? I hate everything anyways, so it shouldn't be a problem. Yet, as I lay on the ground all the feelings I've bottled up exploded. I felt tears rush down my face, and I whimpered. I curled up more, embarrassed.

I shouldn't be the one crying. After all, it was me who betrayed everyone. I jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw that Yukio had gone back to normal. He looked distraught, yet I didn't know why.

"S-Shima, I'm so sorry..." Yukio whispered softly.

Wait, what? Why the fuck would he be sorry? I don't understand...

"W-w-why?" I asked, my body trembling. "I-it's not you that's supossed to be sorry, it's me!" Yukio seemed to be shocked at my outburst, that made me cry harder. When you're a spy, it's expected of you to keep your cool at all times. And here I am bawling like a baby. I jumped a little when Yukio wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me into his lap, where I cried harder.

"Shima, it's not your fault," He said, gently running his fingers through my hair. "You're just a kid, nobody's expecting you to hold the whole world up by yourself.  You don't need that much stress. Trust me, I should know."

"The illuminati expects so much of me," I whispered, looking down. "I-I joined because I hated everything, because all of this shit is just irritating. But now, I realised that I hurt my friends and family and they don't trust me anymore! I just feel so God damn stupid and-"

"Shima stop talking," Yukio said forcefully, causing me to look up.

We stared into each other's eyes for a long time. Even though we said nothing, I got the feeling he told me everything. His eyes, still having blue specks in them, were oh so beautiful... 

"We're all here for you," Yukio said with a small smile. "Everyone still loves you, but you're right. It's going to take a while for everyone to trust you again, but help us with that. You've got to prove yourself. Once you've done that, Suguro and Konekomaru will forgive you. Everyone else will too."

Even though I knew his words were true, everything still hurt. But that's alright, I'll just have to prove myself. I'll prove them that I am still their friend. By betraying the Illuminati. When you're a spy, you got to do everything you can to protect the ones you love...


End file.
